A Mother is Born

Pregnancy. Having a baby. Just happened. Now that it’s almost been three months since our bundle of joy, Maria Caeli (pronounced Ma-ree-yuhh Che-lly) was born, I’m looking back at how I was thrusted into motherhood through those crazy and exciting months.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy was a beautiful understanding of my body. It was a short nine-month anticipation with our family members of the new life that will give lots of sparkle and (chaos) to our lives. Pregnancy is the celebration and birth of the mother. Her body is literally keeping another person alive! It’s amazing. If you take care of the mother, you immediately safeguard the life you will meet soon enough.

I considered that nine months as my time with my husband to cherish the few months for us to be newlyweds alone together. I was very particular about this to the point that I stressed it to him almost everyday. (Geez, right?) I would even count down the months before the beginning of our family and the final days of being just the both of us as a newlywed couple. It was a period of getting to know each other better than before and ‘enjoy’ just the two of us. We even went on some trips together. Although I admit, we took extra precautions because of all the cravings and the heaviness of my body.

Because we were newlyweds and doting soon-to-be parents, we had to balance those stages of our lives well.

Our new role as parents to our baby were slowly taking its place as my unpredictable hormones, cravings and growing baby bump were taking centerstage.

The balancing act was in enjoying my pregnancy with my husband and embracing motherhood while keeping my husband very much involved!

Embracing Motherhood

Part of parenthood was getting to know our baby. Every month, we would scroll to our Pregnancy App (MyBabyCenter) and read about how much she’s grown and how her body matured. My husband would talk and whisper to her every night and tell her what he did during the day – those conversations would always make me giggle! We both got so excited every time she would kick and make waves on my belly.

I also embraced motherhood by decidedly giving the both of us (me and baby) what I knew would be good for us. Even if all I wanted to do was binge on all the junk food I could scarf down and I allowed it for a while but I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at the tail end of my pregnancy (it’s a kind of diabetes that most pregnant women get due to the hormonal imbalances and would typically disappear after birth). That was an inconvenience but I knew that I had to be strict about watching my diet and made a point to exercise. I thought of it as the best way to prepare her for birth.

After every meal, I would have to prick my finger and have my blood tested to see if the food I ate caused my blood sugar to go up. Needles terrify me! During every blood test I would close my eyes and hint at the nurse to make it a painless extraction so I was really scared to have to do this 3 times a day but I thought of it as a way for me to get used to needles and seeing blood. Aside from that, I watched a lot of Grey’s Anatomy to prep me for my stay at the hospital. I also walked and swam a lot!

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Me and Lance at our baby shower, I was 6 months pregnant

Birth

I woke up at 4AM on May 30 because I was getting contractions way more frequently than they were ever before. I noticed that the intervals were getting closer to each other. I knew that, that was it! I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I knew though that if I really let that moment sink in, I would be in total shock!

I considered it as a normal day. In my mind, it was a normal day, of a normal birth, that normal pregnant women go through when their due date was up. To stress how normal it was, I went to my mom’s room, woke her up and smiled to tell her “we’re going to the hospital… it’s time.” Insert that wide grin.

Other more important preparations before the big day were spiritual. My doctor forewarned me that we wouldn’t know the team of nurses and doctors on the day of birth. She also said we wouldn’t know if I would be getting a cesarian or giving birth normally (and boy did we want to have a normal delivery). Also, we didn’t know how my labor was going to go at all! So we just prayed for the best! I prayed for a good team – specifically for a good anaesthesiologist and for a normal birth. I prayed for a good labor. I prayed for our daughter’s birthday to be on May 30. I especially prayed for a healthy baby.

God was definitely there because the entire experience was filled with positivity and excitement. When we arrived at the hospital, I walked with a limp to the chapel to pay God a visit. I don’t even remember what I prayed about but I’m sure He was happy to see me besides He knew what I needed more than me.

I got to the labor room with a disposition to make the birth as relaxed and as easy I could possibly make it. So it ensued. Through all the pain, I desperately tried to inject humour when I talked to my doctors and nurses. Even if the labor room was making me claustrophobic, I was soothed by the messages my husband and mom were reading to me from friends and loved ones who were getting minute-by-minute updates of the progress.

And when I was in the delivery room, I asked to be blindfolded so that I wouldn’t have to see (and consequently freak out by) any blood or anything else that was happening down there. I even asked my doctor not to tell me if she was giving me an episiotomy. The TV was on and we watched Princess Diary 2 through the whole thing.

Baby Maria was born at 7 pounds and 11 ounces on May 30, 2015 (Saturday) at 3:21PM after an 8 hour labor and 1 hour delivery time. She came out crying her lungs out and pooped all over my dressing. What a happy sight.

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Hello, mum!

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A Candid take on Pregnancy

Announcement: We’re expecting a bundle of joy next year!

The Story

During the last leg of our honeymoon, there was something terribly strange about me – physically, emotionally and psychologically. I was nauseous all the time but I never vomited. The nausea would only stop after we ate something – whether it was gelato or cold cuts with cheese. Even if we were eating, I was always tired. We were going through the gorgeous Duomo of Siena and I just wanted to sit down on every bench while my husband was practically jumping around the place in excitement. My emotions were high and low and it was noticeable.

My tiredness was at its peak when we were on our way home. It was a 3 hour bus ride from Siena to Rome, a 45 minute cab ride from the bus station to the airport followed by an accumulated 16 hour flight from Rome to DOHA and DOHA to Manila and finally another 45 minutes from the Clark International Airport to the house. I dropped dead tired and until now I recall the feeling of being stuck in bed and not wanting to come out for days!

With all the craziness that was going on with me, I just knew it. I knew there was a person inside of me trying to get my attention and telling me “Hey, Mommy, I’m right here. I’m trying to get comfortable and grow. Sorry for making you feel sick all the time but I promise you it’s for my own good!

I went back to work a day after we arrived. After work, my best friend was my bed. Finally, Lance wanted to have peace of mind so we decided to buy a pregnancy test from the drug store. The result was POSITIVE.

The moment when the two pink sticks came out was when Lance was screaming, sweating and jumping in excitement and sheer bliss. I, on the other hand, had a silent experience with myself in an almost panic. There is a human being and he’s really in me. Well, I don’t know anything. How am I going to take care of myself since we haven’t exactly started our new life yet? How am I going to manage everything at home, taking care of a baby in my womb and working at an eight to five job? 

I’ve never in my life been so enveloped with worry and distress. The reality hit me big time. Albeit it’s natural. At the same time, there was a lot of relief that what I initially just knew was actually true and I could lead my life aware and ready to take care of the growing baby.

If my life were centered around myself and what I could do, I would forever be worried… thank goodness we started this relationship with God at the center of our relationship and until our married life. Putting back all the worry, this baby is the ultimate gift to our small family. A friend of my husband even said: “Isn’t that amazing that the love of your marriage has this as its fruit?”

Motherhood and Marriage

There is a pervading thought in this day and age that mirrors itself in media and common societal dispositions and its the “Me Mentality.” I have to reach this to be able to do this I need to build a business to be this Me. Me. Me.

Because it’s so common, I can hear the thought about newlyweds speak clearly in my mind: Didn’t you guys want to just enjoy each other first before having kids?

The tough part is that it isn’t impossible to start considering it as your own thought. Judging from the sound of what that question implies is that a couple should be selfish with one another first before considering having kids. I understand that many newlyweds may want to wait it out because of financial issues. But let’s be honest, who knows when a married couple is financially ready to have kids?

There are way too many statistics out there calculating how much a child would cost to be raised in this day and age but no statistics can be made of the miracles that may happen when they love the life they allow to live. Neither is there any statistic for the creativity and willpower parents will have to find ways to make ends meet.

The beautiful part about this pregnancy is that I am reminded that I’m not alone and my primary caregiver is my husband. He knows so well how I can get caught up in my own thoughts that one night he had to look at my eye and say: “I am not allowing you to go through this alone. Trust me. I’m here.

That’s when I knew I was really married.

Baby: The Real Deal

A few days later, we visited the OB-gyne and I got an ultrasound.

On the black and white screen, I saw the matchstick head sized baby in me. Besides just seeing, the most spectacular part about it was that the doctor recorded his heartbeat. My baby is just a month into life and he/she has a heartbeat that technology recorded. Please tell me that that is the clearest sign that this baby is a human being. PLEASE.

I was just reading a comment trail on a blog entry about how a lady shouldn’t push through with her abortion and so many of those comments were telling the blogger that it’s her choice whether to have a baby or not. One comment even implied that it shouldn’t be anyone’s business because abortion is way too overrated to be cared about. They were bantering back and forth about scientific data of fetus development yada yada yada. As a soon-to-be mother, my eyes just widened.

I know that that baby is a baby with a heartbeat. Isn’t that enough? When a person is near-death, the medics check the pulse of the patient and revives them with a defibrillator! I can’t imagine the kind of conscience a person who could end any person’s heartbeat – whether pea-sized or what society implies the right age to die. What makes this argument worse is that women are defending their “right to abort” while there are men willing to risk their name for abortion to end. This women’s right to abortion is defended with “I” “Me” and “Mine” statements. That says a lot about women’s purpose in life.

Since this is becoming a rather long update, I want to end it on a happy note. 🙂 Nowadays, it’s hard enough to inspire couples to get married but where life is concerned, I sure hope it won’t be as tough as a decision to keep life.

There is so much happiness in new life. I noticed that as days pass by the people around me are more and more concerned about my (rather, our) health and even get out of their way to make the simple things easier for me to do. Maybe other moms don’t have the same good fortune as I am gratefully receiving but I’m sure that one bad experience doesn’t and couldn’t possibly outweigh the good and happy experiences they received from those around them.

New life begets a new love.

The Glamour of Weddings and the “Tipid” Bride

The glamour of weddings is in the bride being the center of attention.

She dictates the mood and decorations from what hangs on the ceiling to the mini donuts that will be served after the reception proper – oh, and the little flag with their monogram that will adorn the donuts. Admittedly, it’s exciting to get emails from suppliers about the bouquets or the mock set-ups and to attend bridal showers.  Yes, that pinterest board gets the limelight too.

Unfortunately, most pinterest boards, if followed photo by photo into an actual wedding will cost millions and maybe a billion Philippine pesos. I’ve heard of a couple who delayed their wedding for two years just because they wanted to save up for the best suppliers in the business. You can already guess that weddings around the world – including the Philippines – is an incredibly lucrative business. A friend of mine described most bridal blog features to be weddings that have no budget.

I want to be really honest. In the wedding industry, I’ll be exposing the unspoken categorization of the kinds of suppliers based on pricing. You have the High-End – a la Louis Vuitton and Prada kind of pricing, the Mid-Range – a la Kate Spade, Kenneth Cole and Lacoste pricing and the Low-End – a la fast fashion pricing: Zara, Promod and even Forever 21 brands. This is merely based on experience upon checking supplier prices and comparing bridal fair price listings. 

I might start to sound pretentious and even jealous of those who bag the high-end wedding suppliers because they can but… there is NO NEED. Getting them is not the point of having the perfect wedding. No matter what wedding blog supplies you with that kind of information is NOT TRUE and even if you can, it shouldn’t even be the point. I truly believe that anyone can have a beautiful wedding without drilling a hole into their wallet just by being very creative, resourceful and practical and sticking by those three values that will undoubtedly be brought to married life (which is the most important thing.)

I also see why most wedding blogs only feature the best wedding suppliers around.  Maybe it’s to set the standard for suppliers to have an excellent quality wedding and to set a standard of refinement and elegance for the brides-to-be of what a wedding should look and feel like. But let’s face it…

The best weddings are the ones you know were so well thought-out to the point that each person who attends feels like they’re truly part of a love story. 

Besides that, in the Philippine context, most complaints I get involve comfort of the attendants such as how the height of the decoration piece shouldn’t block the view of the other tablemates, shorten the program of the wedding (including the length of the speeches) and MAKE SURE THERE ARE COCKTAILS (I don’t know how many times I got this piece of advice.) Wedding blogs don’t talk about that that much.

Being from a country where we come across the less fortunate everyday in all its forms, I consider it unfair that more than a fraction of our yearly hard-earned salaries should go to a one-day event that will hardly support our forever or our future children or let alone, insurance.

It’s a far dream of mine… but I someday hope to put up that wedding blog that teaches brides how to be very creative, resourceful and practical and even to some extent philanthropic. I want a blog that will help brides focus on what is truly important – their life to come with their husband. A blog that isn’t so much about the fanfare but more about the values and virtues that can be learned by the couple from preparing a wedding sort of how to use this wedding as a fertile training ground for married life. A blog that will guide readers through the different suppliers and how to speak and deal with them. I want to still be able to talk about the trends of blogs but also how to get them at a discounted price and how other brides were able to stay practical. I hope to have an advice portion where brides can talk to other brides about their special circumstances and get an answer from a warm columnist.

And I will call it the Tipid (Thrifty) bride.

UPDATE: Here’s a link to How Much Do Weddings Cost in the Philippines just for you to have an idea of the range of how much a wedding would cost.

Love More with Your Head than with Your Heart

I was struck when my mom told me that a friend of mine loves more with her heart than her head.

All of a sudden a spillover of cartoon illustrations of couples in thought bubbles started to pop up in my mind. A huge heart that overpowers the brain when she sees her crush. Her almost drunk-like state in his presence. Her willingness to sacrifice everything for his sake! The images are a bit much but the truth is that this is something very real for us girls.

I was quite the opposite when I was in my teens so much so that I brought my “objective” mindset to my one and only relationship. To illustrate my point, I once (proudly) told my fiancé: “In our relationship, I’m the cerebral and objective one while you are the emotional and subjective one.”

I believed 100% in this. I badly wanted to contradict the popular belief that the One will ‘just come’ and I will fall madly in love with him and I’ll just have to “follow my heart.”

Lies, I tell you.

What is true about catching the One? All you ladies – Independent. Throw your hands up at me.  I’m not referring to the making money and buying my own diamond rings bit of  Destiny’s Child’s independence. I’m talking about the quality of independence in knowing what a girl wants and deserves and working on and for it. 

Why was I like that in my teens already? You can say I was way too busy working on my self-esteem to even think of guys –  let alone welcome a relationship. Now that I look back on those years, I was unconsciously working on myself for him and while I was meeting boys I already started to come up with a formula of  who the One was for me.

I didn’t have 50 boyfriends and I certainly didn’t need to test drive any man to know if we were compatible in a relationship. Neither did I have to party every night to meet men. I never dressed to reveal and shock any man just to catch their attention – if I did, then I probably didn’t know any better.

Here’s my formula. There were only five things that would run through my mind and work on overdrive to analyze a man I would meet for the first time and even more to the guys who were already my friends – granted I was also working on perfecting these qualities myself.

  1. He has a vision of who he wants to be and is trying his best to follow it. He can humble himself to know God and to trust in God’s plans.
  2. He knows how to treat a woman. He knows and shows me what I’m worth. With acquaintances, this means I don’t need to call or text him first and I don’t need to catch his attention any other way other than trying to get to know me as a person.
  3. He teaches me new things and is open to learn new things from me. (this usually comes after being #1 to begin with)
  4. He makes me laugh (not roll my eyes.)
  5. He’s genuine. (just to echo #2)

These qualities are difficult to detect when emotions of wanting that cute guy to like you are in the way. It’s even more difficult to deal with this when he’s desperately trying to be the guy with all those qualities – but is not. This next thing I’m about to say is also rather difficult to do when you’re a teenager and you question your self-esteem day in and day out while in a relationship with a teenage boy.

Here I go.

I made sure, I was not afraid to get disappointed. In short, I never settled. I didn’t mind getting disappointed one guy after the other if I knew there were red alerts pointing to problems, I might encounter in the future if we did end up in a relationship. I was always the forward thinker and in the end was completely disappointed in myself for being way too picky. Eventually I stopped being afraid to get disappointed in myself because I knew I didn’t want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship — which was sometimes so hard admit.

For a while, I believed that I was a solid rock and had no romantic feelings at all  even when I was slightly considering a possible relationship with a guy. I made sure I didn’t feel any butterflies and rainbows when a guy was so obviously showing his affection towards me. Obviously, I took every relationship – even the hypothetical ones – very seriously.

All for the good.

When the One arrived, I was on my knees in front of God everyday asking Him WHY? Is it him? Is it really him? In the equilibrium of my mind and emotion, God reigned and said: “Well, yeah, aren’t you happy? I want this and I know that this relationship you will have with him for the rest of your life will not just be good for you but the best for you – the both of you to get to Me.” Awesome.

Thank God, God gave us both mind and heart – He lives in both. But see, the great thing about God is He wants us to know before we love and know while we love. That’s why ladies, please, when you love, love more with your head than your heart.

Yup, ditto to the quote below:

ditto

ditto

How “You Just Know” You’re Ready to Get Married

I’m engaged to get married on the onset of the -ber months next year. *Insert unceasing silent squealing*

I count by the months and can’t wait to count by the weeks and eventually by the days – not just because I’m marrying my best friend, the man of my dreams and all other cheesy things people would describe their fiances but because I genuinely want to begin this surely challenging yet fulfilling rest of our lives together. I can’t wait to pepper our lives with cheer and hope and have children and just… give. But before I came to this conclusion I was asked several questions – from my friends and my personal mulling over the new chapter I’m about to step into.

I recently read an article about the Five Things Every Newly-Engaged Girl Will Get Asked on the Brides Blog.

Due to cultural and moral reasons, only three to four of these questions that are applicable to me.

They are the following in order:

1. When’s the Wedding Date?

2. How did he propose?

and probably when me and the asker seem like we’re getting close enough…

3. Are you going to have kids soon?

I would include another question in between 2 and 3 and it would be “How did you meet?”

Only occasionally do I get a: “Can I see the ring?” (as in the article)

Out of all the questions that I receive, there is one that I believe takes time and a lot of reflecting to answer and that’s:

How do you know you’re ready?” 

Usually, I would hear this certain question asked to couples who have been together for years. Surprisingly, they always answer with a stern and confused “You just know.”

If you’re a frustrated person who desires to know the exact details of this three worded sentence, you would forcefully shake that couple into telling you the real answer. But we too have to understand… they’ve been married for so long that after decisively jumping that bridge to the Merryland of Marriage, Singledom became way too far for them to even describe its silhouette.

Since I’m a few steps closer to that bridge (and I can opt not to cross it), I always feel like I have to defend myself to everyone who asks this question. In a sense, I still need to.

Every time, I’m asked this question, I’m forced to dig deeper and deeper into the recesses of my soul and refine my thoughts through examining my very little experiences and each time I answer… these are the common trails that I see.

Him

Like many couples, we’ve been through a lot in that meager two years together. There was a lot of adjusting, a good number of fights and even more laughter and excitement. Since we got together, he made it known to me that breaking up was not an option (even if secretly, that was my fallback.) But when he said those words, I knew I was in good hands. I was with a man who was not willing to give up and is more than willing to fight for us.

When I was proposed to, I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn’t utter a single word out of shock and thoughtlessness. The only person I saw in that moment was him. That gesture of my boyfriend proposing was when I realized he decided on me for his forever. That very gesture of wanting the commitment impressed me because I know that nowadays commitment is such a feared realm to dwell in.

There was really only one way our relationship was going… It was up to me to decide whether I was willing to take that leap of Faith or doubted our forever together.

Me

Now that I can tick the “Man of my dreams” box from the imaginary list of ‘Things to have before you get married,’ what about… me? Am I really ready to get out of the mother nest and be my own mother in my own nest?

This is when I usually feel like that the belief that those who do get married later in life are justified to be more capable of running a home.

But I beg to differ.

I am a firm believer that while young, it’s a lot easier to adjust and to learn new ways of doing things better everyday. I’ve realized that I’m going to learn mountings of things along the way,  I’m going to have lots of questions and I’m also going to screw up… a whole lot! That’s all ok! Like a good friend once told me… you don’t have to have all your ducks in a row. That saying especially goes for marital adjustments, home skills, child rearing and personal achievements.

Ok, so maybe there is no list of prerequisites for an engaged gentleman or a lady to be “ready” for marriage but I believe thoroughly in the desire to learn, that loving foresight of what marriage entails for the gentleman or lady and the willingness to sacrifice.

Even though things can be learned, an environment I desire for my home begins with me. Everyday, I make it a point to reflect and work on some habits or attitudes I have that may be bothersome to my future husband.

It’s only fair. Besides, I love the guy more than myself.

When

Why is NOW the right time?

Oh gosh, they say that the timing is always just right. Well I can’t say I wholeheartedly believed that saying to begin with.

I definitely didn’t think I was ready at all.

Just imagine, you’re a 23-year-old not a girl not yet a woman. You’re only wading in the pond of the professional world and only getting tastes of the ‘real world.’ You’ve got your dreams of studying this and that and wanting to get to know this and that hobby. You’re traveling with your friends and just enjoying. You’re in a great relationship with a wonderful man and one fine day, he went down on one knee with his starry eyes looking at you. He presented this sparkly ring. With all the beauty of that moment, it was just that, THAT moment.

After all that…  I was on my own.

I was angry that nobody gave me a heads up that I would be all alone on this. It translated to that real sinking feeling of “Now, what?” – a confusion of many if not all engaged girls.

Thankfully, I don’t look to myself to find the answer to that question. I leave it up to God.

Soon enough, this was answered by many essential life experiences that just happened one after the other. I don’t mean to put too much meaning to the happenings but these have been very personal experiences that are both terrifying and struggling. But I know each one of them has and is shaping me and my fiance to become the people we should be for marriage.

To summarize the answer to the question: “How do you know you’re ready for marriage?” – everyday, I’m made to be more ready for marriage.

…withlot of guidance from above and a dash of loving willingness.

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News about the Feminine Genius: A Seminar and A Film

NEWS: EXPERTS MEET TO CONSIDER WOMEN IN THE CHURCH, THE WORLD

St. Edith Stein is probably rocking out to the tune of this headline.

I was first enchanted by St. Edith Stein’s phenomenal essay on the Woman’s soul where she compares three important and yet very different female characters in pieces of literature written in different periods of time.

It was St. Edith Stein and Bl. Pope John Paul II who influenced my interest in the “Feminine Genius.”

I’m thrilled to know that these 100 experts met from October 10 and ended the seminar on my birthday, October 12 (which is also the date of St. Edith Stein’s canonization!)

With the theme “God entrusts the human being to the woman,” they discussed woman’s perceived role and desired role in their respective workplace, society and the world.

They found that (not that it was ever any doubt) that women are more often than not called to the nurturing profession – teachers, nurses, caretakers etc. a lot of women are called to be wives and mothers.

On that note, I just want to insert a really wonderful read from Matt Walsh about the Stay at Home Mom and their hidden but beautiful and dignified work.

This quote just hits home:

It’s true — being a mom isn’t a “job.” A job is something you do for part of the day and then stop doing. You get a paycheck. You have unions and benefits and break rooms. I’ve had many jobs; it’s nothing spectacular or mystical. I don’t quite understand why we’ve elevated “the workforce” to this hallowed status. Where do we get our idea of it? The Communist Manifesto? Having a job is necessary for some — it is for me — but it isn’t liberating or empowering. Whatever your job is — you are expendable. You are a number. You are a calculation. You are a servant. You can be replaced, and you will be replaced eventually. Am I being harsh? No, I’m being someone who has a job. I’m being real.

If your mother quit her role as mother, entire lives would be turned upside down; society would suffer greatly. The ripples of that tragedy would be felt for generations. If she quit her job as a computer analyst, she’d be replaced in four days and nobody would care. Same goes for you and me. We have freedom and power in the home, not the office. But we are zombies, so we can not see that.

Going back…

The discussion left the participants resounding this quote: “Women seem naturally suited to communicate Pope Francis’ stunning calls to re-energize the Church’s mission to serve the dispossessed of this world” with their shared experiences and experiences of other women.

Looks like it’s time to brush up on that apostolic letter: Mulieris Dignitatem (The Dignity and Vocation of Woman)  of Bl. Pope John Paul II as a little commemoration to these initiatives as well as his upcoming canonization on April 27, 2014! Wuhoo!

To read the original news article, click here

For regular updates from the “God entrusts the human being to the woman” seminar, click here.

ALISSA JUNG OVERWHELMS IN MARY OF NAZARETH

To further celebrate woman, who better to acknowledge than Our Blessed Virgin Mary?

I’m insanely excited for this film, Mary of Nazareth. I have no idea how I’m going to get my hands on it. The reason why I’m flipping out to watch this film is because a friend recommended for me to see and imagine the very real depiction of Our Lady by Alissa Jung.

She was given a rave review for her wonderful portrayal as written in this article. 

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exactly

Exactly.

Excuse me as I jump for joy.

Ode to Silly Fashion Trends and Woah Legs

Fish tail

skirts

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cut-outs

mega

micro mini

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skirts

blouses

dresses

oh my!

These fashion trends make me want to just… *face palm.*

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE FASHION SO MUCH. I love seeing new designs, new textures, new ways to mix and match my clothes, I love it. I eat it all up.

But there are just some pieces of clothing that apparently become hits and eventually become TRENDS. It’s alarming!

My desperate ode to fashion boils down to two points:

(1) Clothes that look WAY TOO SMALL FOR YOU and

(2) Clothes that don’t even allow people to focus on YOU.

Although department stores and generally most large scale clothing stores separate the women, teens and children sections, there are some pieces of clothing that seem to have been misplaced in the categorizing of things.

Take the short shorts. They look like a pair of shorts that’s supposed to be for  five year old’s blessed with extremely large waists. There’s the short shorts that are even high waisted that make the wearer look like she’s keeping a diaper in place from falling down.

A Father and his Short-Shorts

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Thankfully there are still people out there who care. There’s a father who went above and beyond our creativity to make a point. On a regular day, when he just had it of his daughter repeatedly breaking the household modesty rules, that he cut a pair of his old jeans to mimic the short shorts. He topped the look off with a Best.Dad.Ever T-shirt. *Thumbs up!*

This super awesome dad got a ‘kudos!’ from fellow parents on this risque move. According to Shine Yahoo!, he was even coined as an Internet hero.

Here’s the real story behind the short-shorts and a wonderful excerpt:

I know the world has varying degrees of what is modest and what is not when it comes to clothing.  In our family we have pretty definite modesty guidelines; No midriffs or low-cut shirts, no short-shorts, short skirts and we even go as far as saying no sleeveless shirts unless playing sports or on the beach. Having raised four daughters and three sons, I’m a bit protective.

Some may call me old fashion, but I call it “A Dad who loves his daughters” (and sons too) I know some of you may be rolling your eyes and that’s okay, my daughter does it all the time.

I’m a firm believer that the way we dress sends messages about us, and it influences the way we and others act. (okay okay – I’m the first to admit I look like a redneck and I may say “crick” instead of “creek”) But that’s beside the point. My teenage daughter day after day continues to wear clothing that I, as her father, feel is inappropriate and immodest.

There is a lot to think about with regard to his lesson. The demonstration shows (1) this father’s love for his daughter, (2) the exposition of the worth of his daughter to the world, and (3) the mockery of the short-shorts.

It’s so obvious how much this father loves his daughter that he’s willing to look like a fool in front of the whole internet world for her. It’s also clear by the blog entry that he wrote that this move was to provide a lesson to his kids that there is some sense in keeping with the family values he wants his offspring to uphold.

The mockery of the short-shorts… does this message resound loud and clear or or not?

The Mockery of Short-Shorts: Woah Legs

I don’t know about you, but the first reaction I got from seeing this man in a “Best.Dad.Ever” Black T-shirt and… his shorts was a funny grin.

I didn’t think about it much. All I thought was –  he looked silly. Really silly. As if he was showing off his legs. Then, I just kept staring at his legs and I was all “Woah! Legs!”

If I were any other person, I would stop there and not think further.

But when I did think deeper into this picture.

I saw the kinds of (cold) stares this man got while he was walking to the department store or the local convenience store. I imagined the lines that could have been thrown at him like: “Did you leave your shorts at home, dude?” I imagined the reactions from every kind of person – young or old who saw him.

I thought… wow, that’s probably every other person’s reactions and thoughts about any other girl who steps out of her house wearing short shorts!

Girls wouldn’t even think we were being mocked at by what we wear. We would think that any form of attention is good. We just think that everyone loves us because we’re girls! I know that because I’m a girl. The insecurity we tend to have makes us a lot less sensitive to the kind of attention we get.

Living in a tropical country, girls have given the excuse that because it’s just so humid in this country, we can dress as if we were in the beach (yup, even when attending mass). You can already imagine the number of  Woah Legs! moments a day.

There are many more reasons to abhor short shorts and here are a few more from a Filipina blogger.

Apparently because this world is so desensitized by the kinds of fashions that are worn by women passersby, women and men alike shouldn’t care about fashion. Besides, it’s self-expression and everyone should be given the chance to wear whatever they like no matter how revealing and immodest their fashion sense is.

I beg not.

As I end this ode to silly fashion trends

I call women

to be open to

their intuition-centered sensitivity

to be honest

to themselves

to know what is offensive

to realize what is demeaning

and ask

am I really worth

bearing

myself?

Just for kicks, here’s another dad donning the short-shorts look:

dad1

short shorts: the new trend among dads!