V-Day 2011: “Stages of Love”

Happy Post-Valentine’s Day!!!

I just want to share a blog post I wrote the day before Valentine’s day back in 2011 – back when I had a blog called “Out of Teenage Wasteland.” Yup, I thoughtΒ  we were all stuck in a Teenage Wasteland and that we had to get out of — it was pretty grunge, I have to say. I loved talking about what I was doing and eating just so anyone could picture my gestures and the way that my mind was ticking at that time.

I hope you enjoy and laugh at this post. I hope it even makes you think…

9p.m. 13 February 2011 Crisp white kitchen. Comfortable high chair. Half-finished glass of coffee crumble and vanilla ice cream drizzled with chocolate syrup that ‘magically’ hardens. I am suffering through the 1,000th replay of the song ‘Terrified’ by Katharine McPhee and that cute guy from Chuck, Zachary Levi. If it wasn’t for its soft slow trills on the word “I” that symbolize the waning of the notion of “I” when one is ‘Terrified,’ I would’ve rubbed the song into dirt and thrown it into a cesspool of leeching maggots.

The ice cream is consumed and the physical bit of my yearning has been completely – if not – overly satisfied. Oh and would you look at that, the PERFECT song for – let’s just put it in a fine semblance of a description – a lovely couple who holds hands together along the tapered walkways of a landscaped park with flowers and trees intricately misplaced to look what’s the word… beautiful.

Oh yeah, the song is called ‘Words & Music” by this wonderful Norwegian musician whose music is typecast as pop, indie rock, jazz – that is, according to wikipedia. I shall demonstrate its utter *cringes* sweetness. The lyrics go as:

You be words and I’ll be music. Ain’t you heard that’s how they do it. You’re a poem when you’re on your own I’ll try not to get in your way. But I’ve all the pretty poems I have known. Baby, you give me something to say. I’ll be words and you’ll be music. I concur, I can’t refuse it. You’re a sad little tune by yourself So lovely I wanna sing along. If there’s one thing I know I can tell. When we get together we’re a song.

What am I trying to say by this given situation? I’m at the tender age of twenty and I have yet to be bitten by the Love Bug ever.

I have used several theories to find out why and so far it’s a battle between mature interests and experiences and plain wrong timing or even the combo! I find it quite difficult to talk to people who cry over their ex-boyfriends, talk about their ex’s or their lack of ex’s.

But the worst people to talk to are the ones who drown in lustful monologues on their love.

All I have to say to them is put it in a poem or better yet compose a song.

People like me have no idea, or our idea would be so close to minuscule that the only actual experience on love would be a discovery of self-respect.

Teenagers especially girls, have all the time in the world to discover this ‘love,’ especially with the opposite sex.

It annoys me that these premature girls whose pigtails you could still practically see hanging from the sides of their ears are chasing after these just-reached-puberty boys. These girls become so attracted by their enhanced facial features, areas in their bodies where there’s more hair than usual and the tall order. Taylor Swift is my prime example.

That is why her music sells.

Even adults are blinded by superficial standards over boys. I won’t understand boys… perhaps I try, tried, still do constantly try to understand them but… fail.

Because until now, I cannot seem to comprehend how we girls can be so enamored by boys who try to win our hearts over. Of course I will continue to speak on behalf of the girl.

Girls, we’re so easy to please, we just loooovee attention.

Attention comes in three stages.

Stage one comes in you’re so beautiful, I love your smile. (Insert reciprocate button)

Once that’s done, and the girl still is so in love with boy because of his good looks and seemingly respectful nature…

Stage two appears in the I-know-what-your-interests-are-and-I-love-them-as-well portion. This height of kilig consists of presents and dates of knowing and understanding the other and discussing of the similar interests and future plans. I’d say stage two is pretty fun. (Insert reciprocate button)

But of course, we can’t stay on the fun stage two bit forever we have to add in a little drama and that’s

Stage three: difficult stage. When the boy and the girl discover each other’s difficulties in their own separate lives.

A lot of times girls throw themselves at stage one. Smarter girls throw themselves at stage two but stay on in the relationship for so long after convincing themselves they’re incredibly in love.

The most self-respecting girls just get out of it as soon as they reach stage three. I see stage one and two as stages wherein you can already gauge how you will be with this person.

If at stage one you can already sense a phony. Get out of the pool!

But if you like being with the guy at stage one and stage two, you have to be prepared for the possibility for disappointment as soon as you hit stage three.

Girls, we love to hide every problem with frou and fluff. Instead of outwardly saying the truth of: ‘he hits me.’ we say: “I just love him so much I can do anything for him!”

What the…

I have always been so frustrated by these boys and girls who don’t think objectively of the situation.

Once they tell me their love life problem, I will give them an objective and straightforward answer and I will want them to take it as it is and NOT bother trying to elaborate and defend their side because at that point, I wouldn’t give a damn anymore. I have told them what I thought and what I think they should do and what I know they know they should do.

But these people like to give themselves games that aimlessly go on forever, then they eventually just waste time – theirs and the others’.

I explained to a friend when she was telling me about her sucky ex-boyfriend that I thought they were both stupid. Of course, that was very proud of me to say, but the truism in the context is the fact that they’re both young, immature and inexperienced.

Please hand me a less ambiguous contextual defense.

So I told her that what I will say will be objective for I have finally named myself as a patented ‘Love Cynic.’

I love but I don’t think I could love the way I’m supposed to love the opposite sex right now.

Cheers with a once full glass of ice cream to tonight and tomorrow and the future that one day I may be converted.

**************************

The next day… I spent the actually Valentine’s Day with another single friend and got lost in Forever 21! BEST EVER. Celebration of womanly love for textile. 563305_528715007174006_928828114_n So, by the grace of God… at the right time and with the right guy… I was indeed eventually converted…

It's my 2nd Best Valentine! with...

It’s my 2nd Best Valentine! with…

This most wonderful man

This most wonderful man

OMG AND THE BEST RED VELVET CAKE EVER EVER EVER!!!

OMG AND THE BEST RED VELVET CAKE EVER EVER EVER!!!

Mom's Room Smells of a flower shop now! :)

Mom’s Room Smells of a flower shop now! πŸ™‚

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Share: The Pyramid of Intimacy

MY EYES GREW HUGE and just then, I wanted to hug the person to blame for this amazing picture.

I am a sucker for words and pictures in some sort of order and for me, this is my mind drawn out in way better drawings and letterings – I would have never imagined.

I got this from Leah Darrow’s Facebook page who copied it from another Theology of the Body Speaker, Bill Donaghy. *I’ve included the same caption as the one in Leah Darrow’s page to the picture.

Image

Wondering why your relationship is not working? Why doesn’t (s)he commit? The answer is, probably, that one or more of these steps were done out of order.

Leaves anyone a few things to ponder on. Like: Why is knowing the true purpose of a man and a woman even before loving? What is true friendship? Do I really know myself? Do I really know my family? Am I in an exclusive relationship? What does exclusivity mean? Have I known and kept all these steps before engagement and marriage?

Mind blown. Heart blown.

For the Love of Love Stories!

I love – love stories!

It brings my heart into a fanciful frenzy to see old couples in Church holding hands and laughing while walking steadily through the malls… and just EVERYWHERE! It just makes me wonder what are the many factors that made it work for them to be married for 50, 60, 70, 80 years! It’s a True and Real Love that both pursue together.

You know, the Notebook will continually be a favorite of all but I say, let’s bring in the true-to-life love stories from the past.

I just love that final quote about “resisting other women.”

I believe it’s truly possible for these beautiful married couples to beΒ together forever. Even as my dad’s gone to heaven, I know he and my mom are together forever. My mother’s still in love with him.

Not all love stories are pristine, all relationships are so unique that there really is no comparison between one relationship and another (that’s why there isn’t a manual for them) but there will always be the elements with the number one that seem to shine through these long lasting relationships:Β self-giving love.

Posting these stories will serve as an inspiration with even some humorous and nonetheless, wise tips for those who aspire for this kind of love. The inspiration will keep coming in – but it would need the courage for it to come into fruition. Take heed.

Speaking of Β “ancient” love stories, what about the greatest love story of them all:

❀

This pretty much sums it all up.

Happy long weekend! πŸ™‚